sheryl's cOrNeR

It's one of those very moody days... probably because of the weather... and probably due to the series of events that happened lately... and probably is the incident that happened at work just now... I'm just feeling super moody...

Cried very sadly on the way back to my Mum's place to pick Jaelyn after work... Just some thoughts that make me feel real sad, unappreciated and un-valued... Maybe it's just part and parcel of life that I have not yet master... Today I just feel like I want to be my mummy's girl... Feel that life is tough and I want my mummy.... hmm... sound very childish huh?

Have you ever had such moments that you just want to hang on to those hurtful feelings though the right thing to do is to forgive and forget, to let go??? I am feeling like that right now...

Anyway, was just looking at Jaelyn's photos and I felt so much better. She is really the love of my life~ Was feeling unwell the past few days but the moment I'm with her, I forget all about the sickness... She is my sunshine, my rainbow after the rain...

Yesterday we celebrated Jaelyn's first birthday! And she didn't sleep until 12midnight... I was totally exhausted by then.

Really very tempted to take urgent leave today but... after much struggles, I decided to go to work...

Dropped off Jaelyn at my mum's place... She cried so badly... Heartpain... Then when I'm approaching Suntec..................... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I forgot to bring my laptop.... Argh.........

I tried to work with another laptop for a while then Boss asked for schedules!!! OMG... Its all in my laptop at home... Pack up... Head Home... Then I work from home and finished up the schedules...

And updated my blog, uploaded some photos... heehee... And I'm going to fetch Jaelyn now. How good to be working from home... without Jaelyn around of course.

Heehee...

Vincent just got called back to camp 2hours ago... Supposed to go Compass Point and he received his "Recall" just before we step out of the house...

Then I gotta stay home with Baby... Brought her to Punggol Plaza for a walk, she just can't stand the fact that Daddy got out of the house and she is not following... Cry and cry and keeps pointing to the door... Anyway, brought her down to see if there's anything we can grab for tomorrow's party... AND she kicks up a fuss in the stationery shop!!! She doesn't want to leave, she wants to come down and grab stuff... This is the second time!!! The last time was at Kiddy Palace at Compass Point. Can you believe it? She is just close to 1yr old and she is already kicking up a scene outside... I can't imagine what she will do when she is older...

Anyway, while we are in the comfort of our home, my sister (ops... she just called) is walking around Bugis, getting the party packs for me. Heehee... She works at Learning Vision at KK. She is quite good at getting these stuff for the kids in her workplace. But she almost fainted when I tell her its only for 10kids but age range from 3mths to 8yrs old. Haha... So she called umpteen times already.  

I seldom make mention of my sister... but she is really the kind of sister that will go all the way out for me. Heehee... Thank God for sis-ta! Though sometimes I really had enough of complaints about her from my mum... But the funny thing is, she always treats me the best! Haha:)

 

Sigh... Super SIANzzzz now...

Was washing the new top I bought for Vincent for his birthday... But realised that the silver color portion faded very badly... Totally sianz... Should have hand washed it instead. Was too tired and lazy... and I run out of pail. Lousy excuse I know... Wanted to blame someone for not letting me buy more pails and then occupied the only big pail we have in the house... ARGH........ super super sianz........ Oh yes and the new dress I got is also ruin by the silly washing machine... I even choose gentle spin... ARGH... You know what?? Tml I will go buy pails!!! Just don't understand why I can't have one more pail???

Its really a very un fulfilling day. Took off to celebrate Vincent's birthday but nothing turned out as planned. Totally upset with the change of the entire itinerary. Vincent came back late... Then we didn't catch the intended show "Changeling", didn't eat the intended lunch at Coffee Club at Somerset... ended up eating dinner at Siam Kitchen at Bugis, the food was super awful. Didn't manage to get the party favors for Jaelyn's small birthday party this coming sunday... NOTHING WAS AS PLANNED!!! Wanted to buy a mahjong table and its out of stock... argh... 

I don't think Vincent enjoyed it either... Cos when things don't turn out as planned, I can't really focus the whole day... Feel that its a wasted day...

Sigh... Tml is more sianz... Vincent on technical recall, can't go anywhere. Then I won't be able to accomplish what I didn't today. Want to at least get the party stuff... ARGH...

 

 

 

Hey friends,

to those who missed the cg meeting today. I thought it was a really great message!!! Grace shared about King Uzziah, that when he was young, he sought the Lord and God prosper him. But when he was strong (older), his heart was lifted up,to his destruction, he transgressed against the Lord (2 Chronicles 26: 3-4, 16).

This message really speaks to me. I joined CHC since I was really young, 14yr old. And its those days that I really seek God in every direction, so passionate about the things of God and serving Him... As time goes by, I grew up, enter the work force, got married and now, with a kid. I was really distracted by the cares of this world. Tiredness and the many commitments in life really will pull our focus away. And what Grace said is so real. Sometimes we thought we knew the way, the "how to" to every situation that we forgot to seek God in making decision.

So I decided, this year, I really want to be serious with God! I might not be able to commit like before but my passion must not die off! I still want to seek first the Kingdom of God!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and depart from evil" -Proverbs 3:5-7

Grace, I want to stand with you this year, to be more spiritual and to see God move in our lives, in W37! I want to have fresh encounters rather than past experience with God. Count me in when you want to fast! I can fast with you in office!!!

 

Well... Jaelyn is already 7months old!!! Over the weekend, it marks two "First-Time" events in Jaelyn's life.

Last Friday is the FIRST night Jaelyn stayed over at my parents place. Its the first time for both Jaelyn and me to be apart!!! Man... I cried on the cab back home because its the first time in seven month that I am going to sleep without Jaelyn... As for Jaelyn, she seems pretty happy over at her granny place... And for the first time in seven month, I have a proper sleep. Its been a very tiring week for Vincent plus I'm not feeling so well, so we harden our heart to leave her overnight at my mum's place. Sob sob...What a difficult decision... We struggled an hour before we finally left my mum place without Baby...

So on Saturday, both of us went down to fetch Jaelyn home and we decided to try taking bus!!! And this is the FIRST time Jaelyn took a bus home!!! I always said, though we are not very rich but our daughter takes cab everyday and everywhere. Jaelyn's first bus ride seems pretty smooth. Properly she enjoys the motion, she fell asleep shortly after we board the bus!!!

I told Vincent that when there is a first time, there will always be second and many more. Seems like Jaelyn would be staying over more and more and taking bus and train more and more. Its time we cut some cost on transport, ya?!!!

Well... its Monday BLUES... and so I decided to take some time to update my blog and then get back to work...

Monday is always super tired for me. Jaelyn is already 6.5months going to 7. AND its getting more and more challenging each day looking after her.

She started crawling forward when she is exactly 6months old and before you know it, she is now standing with support already. SHOCKING for a 6months right? She even wants to walk now...

And since she started crawling, she has also become more accident prone. I lost count of the number of times she knocked her head against the cot, against the floor etc... She rolled off my bed 3times though. Got once it was so bad that she got two big bumps on her head. Sigh... poor gal.

As she grows older, she also become more attention seeking. She is no longer contented to sleep or remain in her cot. She attempts to climb out so many times (even after we lower the cot) that we decided to let her sleep with us in between. AND SHE TOOK UP THE MOST SPACE. She simply sleeps with her hands and legs wide open like the chinese character "大". Sigh... So you can imagine how little space I have to squeeze in. Nowadays, I wake up with body ache every morning...

Eversince she started crawling, I have decided that I must keep our floor very clean and mopping with a mop is just not clean enough. So now I use a cloth to wipe the floor every sunday N it is VERY TIRING!!! I have to do it early in the morning before she wakes up. Just yesterday I was thinking, how 伟大 a mother can be. I hate doing household chores but now I get up early on WEEKENDS to "wipe" the floor. Now she takes a meal of porridge for lunch and cereal for dinner... you can imagine the effort to quickly cook her porridge and blend it so that its just nice for Princess Jaelyn. Mind you, she is quite particular with food. Too waterly don't eat, too dry don't like it. Same flavor every meal, she also will not eat. SIGH... I must admit, I used to be very picky about food when I was young.

Well... I am just very very very tired.

 

Yup yup!!! Jaelyn can roll over now!!!

I am so so so excited!!! For so long... I'm still thinking she is taking a bit too long cos she is already 4months 3weeks and she still can't roll over. Not hitting the milestone for 4-month old baby!!!

And Vincent plays a great part in teaching her how to roll over. I would like to call this "enrichment" program. Cos weekdays we are both busy working. I send her to my mum's place before I go work and pick her up after work. And by the time we are home, its 9plus and its her bed time. So no time to teach her stuff so weekend is her enrichment class with Daddy and Mummy. And I must say Vincent is such a great Daddy!!! He taught her how to push herself up when lying on her tummy when she was 2months plus. And this time round Daddy successfully taught her how to roll over!!!

Jaelyn is so thrilled to try new thing!!! So the whole of yesterday she keep rolling over many many times!!! She must be so so so happy that she has learnt a new skill. I am looking forward to the day she calls me "Mummy" or maybe lets start with "ma" first!!!

It has been such a long long time since i update this blog!!!

Sigh... I did one entry few weeks back and my hubby shut down the laptop while I'm uploading the pic for my entry...

Anyway, just a brief update... Jaelyn has been with us for more than 4months already!!! She was born on the 4th Feb 2008, just 3 days before CNY. It was a smooth delivery... so smooth that you won't believe it. I din even know I was in labour, I thought it was just a normal gynae checkup and Dr. Wen Lim looked at me with a shock "You don't feel any pain at all? You are 4cm dilated!!! You are in labour! Go admit yourself at the delivery ward NOW!! You probably deliver before the end of today". I was very very stunned!!! Anyway I was warded at 1pm and delivered Baby Jaelyn at 1755pm!!!

It was such joy and it didn't lasted very long before the challenges set in. My confinement was a total flop. We sent the confinement lady home 5days after she was here... family conflicts blah blah blah... and the toughest of all - Breastfeeding!!! That's why I always tell people, its easy to give birth, not easy to feed and take care. Anyway, I went through very tough experience to breastfeed her. So many days I was in tears and Vincent said I have post natal blues... which was quite true!! But thanks to all my church friends and colleagues!!! People like Adiel, Jiahui and Miaoling are like my constant helpline. BUT I was really determine to give Jaelyn the best and to breastfeed her as long as I can. So you ask me for more details... I did everything, bought many stuff and seen lactation consultant twice and today I'm glad to say my Jaelyn is on total breastfeeding for 4months plus already!!!

Jaelyn has brought much joy to my life and I believe to Vincent's too. Its really another level in life - parenthood. I still remember the first week when Jaelyn gotta be put in the photo therapy machine due to her jaundice, she cried n cried and I cried with her... The first time Jaelyn was sick... those nights when she can't sleep because of fever, block nose etc...

But she is just so dear... such a darling... And Yes, everything is worth it!!! All the pains & heartaches I went through while carrying her is all worth it! Wouldn't exchange her for anything....

Jaelyn, mummy loves you!!! (I tell her that everyday! Heehee...)

 

Its one of those wee mornings that i cant get to sleep again... Well... its has been a long long time since i blog here cos i really just want to keep the keep those emotions to myself... but now i guess its ok to share...

Erm... I am now 15 weeks into my pregnancy. It wasn't an easy one. It came unexpected and began with really bad morning sickness. I was vomiting so much that i was hospitalised for dehydration... For about one month i din go to work cos i was vomiting too badly. For that entire one month i never stepped out of house and i was very confined to my bed and the toilet. Everyone said after the first trimester, i will get better. I was waiting eagerly to hit the 12 weeks! Now i'm 15 weeks and still vomiting but i must really say the frequency has gone from hourly to daily and i thank God for that. However, this pregnancy is getting very demanding on my health. I'm having symptoms like migraine headaches, breathlessness and sleepless nights. Coughing almost everyday and flu every week etc... I din start off with a good health in the first place so its quite "siong" for my body now...

Not just physically demanding, this pregnancy is affecting me emotionally and mentally as well. So many times i cried cos i can't take the pressure. Struggling with thoughts like my house is coming and this baby... financially is a great challenge and its affecting many of my plans for the future.

One of the greatest sacrifice i made is the decision to take a break from cell group ministry. Like the song " God of my youth i remember, the call on my life took me o'er" The call of a cgl took me over since i was 16. Since then, i went through so much to be a cgl. I still remembered the interview i had that i said "though its not easy but i will still want to be because it is my calling." I remembered the day when Pst Ulf anointed my batch of cgls. I was filled with joy and destiny. Though its not easy, i must say i enjoyed being a cgl. Yesterday, i announced to my cg that i'm taking a break. Believe me, it wasn't easy. I took one whole month to finally announce it. Many nights i wet my pillow cause its really painful to let go. Its has become so part of my life and i have to make this decision. Its the best for my members. For 2 months, they have wondered around like sheep without shepherd, it pained my heart to see them so lost and feel so helpless cos i cant be there for them. I want to say, 

"Dear members, please know with all my heart, i still love every single one of you very much. Your are so much in my heart and will always be. I'm sorry that i have to let your go but please remember though i'm no longer your leader, i'm always your friend and i'm just a phone call away."

And so i bid goodbye to my love ones...

I pray to God that He will give me the strength to go through this difficult transition and that Jesus will guide me and give me a new vision. Holy Spirit will be my comforter and hold my hands through this...

I want my baby knows that this is the greatest sacrifice that mummy made for him/her.

" My greatest Honour will always be to Serve my Lord and King"

Out of the 70, Jesus selected 12.

Out of the 12, 3 were closest to Jesus.

Out of the 3, John was the disciple whom Jesus loves (the most).

And Peter loved Jesus the most and he inherited the ministry! Why?? Because if you love someone the most, you will listen and obey the most!

 

woah... been so long since i blog here...

eRm... what shall i write huh?

Haf a great week and simply love the new song that we have been singing over the weekend! I love this part the most:-

"One Word, You know I will follow..."

Its really One Word! One Word from the Lord, I will follow!

 

我真的好累...

其实我真的真的快要崩溃了, 或许已经危在旦夕了.

可能是人们所谓的"MID LIFE CRISIS" 吧! 最近一直在想我的人生目标是什么? 我觉得我好象失去了方向感, 象是迷了路的船,在大海上飘流... 到底要去那里, 想要的是什么? 觉得好茫然, 好无助.

我不喜欢现在的我. 我不喜欢这种茫然无助的感觉. 我要活得精彩! 有时觉得我不知道何去何从, 有时又好象有些方向...

我需要一个方向盘, 带我到属于我的命定, 让我开心的走出精彩的人生!!! 为我祈祷吧!!! 我做得到, 我做得到!!!

 

"In one weekend, I finally see what it means to be a cgl. To always be so strong, to carry such a weight, to smile despite sadness... to keep carrying on"

This is probably the most encouraging sms I received in the week from a cg member. I asked myself how shall I reply this sms. And the one phrase that Vincent always say comes to my mind "what to do? Just have to move on."

Yes, the time waits for no one. We can mourn, cry, feel sad but life moves on. Time doesn't wait a second because our world comes falling down. Sounds so cruel and heartless but its so true. Does crying one more day turns a situation around? I am a person who cries a lot. But crying doesn't change anything.

To face the reality, we just have to know and to know that God controls everything. No matter what happen, God is in control. He is the one who holds our future isn't it?

Frankly, I was really sad last week. Almost fell into slight depression??! Nothing seems to be going the way I wanted it to. Cry? I did! But love always see us through the most difficult moments. Because He loves, He endured the cross. Because I love, I bear the pain. I believe, I have faith and I love. Love bears all things! For my precious ones, I will be strong!

Ha-ha...

Well... I attended a friend's wedding yesterday! Erm... initially I was rather worried for him cause he seems to have pre-marital blues. But i know that he is the happiest man on earth yesterday! See the amazing work love does? Love can overcome fears! Perfect love cast out all fears ya?!

I am also looking forward to my buddy's wedding! Boo!!! I am just so super happy for you!!! Deep in my heart, I give you the best of my blessings!!! You never know the place you hold in my heart. Though we seldom meet up nor talk, I truly value you as a friend who sticks closer than a brother/sister!!! I know you will live HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!! WOO~ HO!!!

For my dear friends out there, I will be having my wedding matrimony on the 1 Jan 2007. I hope not to miss anyone out, so please please please help me. If I have not sms or call you for the longest time, that means I don't have your contact! Cos I lost my HP umpteen times since I graduated from school. Please help me to drop a message with your contact no, ya? Dun feel pai seh k? Do me a favor! Its my privilege to have you to share my joY! Especially looking for Mabel Sin, if anyone knows or in contact with her, help me out! Thank you very much!

 

 

 

 

Well... it seems to be quite a long while since i last wrote here... and of cos, i dun mess email my journal and it kinda give me the privacy to write my true feeling here,,,

The past two weeks just hasnt been easy for me. Things happening at home and things happening to me. For some reasons, i cant freely share here but it really seems to me that what worst could happen next.. i cant help but to feel that i am pretty strong in handling the situation... it might not be the best that i have done but at least i still keep myself in one piece? haha... Still can lead cg like nothing happen...

But i believe whatever the devil meant it for evil, God can turn around for good! All things work together for good to those who love God. One thing i'm sure when i'm going thr the storm, is that i will never give up on my faith in God. Indeed, i will brace thr the storm.. well, as the saying goes (in Chinese), the rainbow is always after the rain... or the english way, there is always sunshine after the rain! I will be strong because God is the strength of my heart!

hahah... wat a topic ya? from monday blue to monday bruise...

well... life as an auditor is really like wat other pple commonly said "no life~"

since last wk (n its gonna last a mth), im working with a super senior... n he is the "real model" of a typical auditor! work early in the morning n go home super late at nite(i mean 11 plus pm k!) and he does that for 24-7! Amazing?!!! but i'm not impressed! pple working in my line... if they are there for >1yr are most likely brained wash.. they made me feel like a sinner if i dun work on wkends!!!

so ever since last week... i realised i started early monday blue sympton on sunday evening... so i concluded that on monday my blues should be blue-black=bruise.

anyway... dun worry my frens i wun bcome like them! I've got a life n i will not sacrifice it to work! I will survive!!!!

song of the week:

Sad Movies always make me cryyy.. Cryyy(Deep Voice)
Said he had to work so I went to the show alone
They turned down the lights and turned the projector on
And just as the news of the world started to begin
I saw my darling and my best friend walk in

So I was sitting where they didn't see
And so they sat right down infront of me
And when he kissed her lips I almost died
and in the middle of the color cartoon I started to cry

OOO.......
Sad movies always make my cry
OOO.......
Sad movies always make me cry

And so i got up and slowly walked on home
My momma saw the tears and asked what's wrong
And so to keep form telling her a lie
I just said sad movie always make me cry

OOO.......
Sad movies always make me cry
OOO.......
Sad movies always make me cry ryy......ryy.....!

 

well... just realised how long i have not been on multiply... the last msg was last year dec..

have to admit that time really flies... its the 25th march n soon april wld b coming... just when i thought the new year has just started, a quarter of it is gonez...

life is super busy as far as i am concern. its always work for 5days++ and then wkend and then its back to work... i did make a resolution at the beginning of the year to rebuild friendship with my frenz but its really more than just words. it takes lotsa of action n it kinda gets slow down when u r just the only person tats putting in effort.. i miss certain pple who have been in my life n loving me.. but it seems like time is so limited & there are loads n loads of work that cant be finished. thus... meeting up has been compromised.

i haf to say tat my work place is not the best environment for one to grow in. Definitely difficult for me to cope... been in sot for a year, it was difficult to adjust to totally different pple with different attitude n different atmosphere. 

to friends who know who u r n know tat i miss u: take good care & i really love & miss u all alot. 

well... dun worry i will move on... 

cant believe it, the year is finally coming to an end... I dunno abt u but its an extremely adventurous year for me... But like wat Pst. Tan said, each of us have our own timing in the wilderness, our own battle to fight... now that the year is almost ending... i hope i fought a fairly good one this year...

in a week time, i will be starting a new phrase of my life again... working life!! Full of expectancy n anxiety due to uncertainty... do pray for me amen?!

and of cos, to God, my Majesty, i surrender all~

hi... life is full of mountains that we must conquer. the bible said that if u haf faith like a mustard seed, u can say to the mountain be removed and cast into the sea and it shall be done... Over the mountain... in the valley...

i sing a love song to you Lord
everyday every night, tell of Ur goodness & mercy
tell the world how U rescued me
picked me up from sin & shame
Ur breath gives me new life

where can i go from Ur presence
under Ur wings i take refuge
Ur spirit lives within my heart
i know we'll never be apart

everyday i draw closer to U Lord
i long to see Ur face & hide in Ur embrace
all my life, dwelling in Ur holy place
my heart o Lord U've changed
i'll never be the same....

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yuhoo~ been so long since the last time i sat in front of the pc. machiam like i went on some primitive village like tat... well... sob sob... me is sick again... the stupid sore throat cum flu cum fever is making me very tired n weak... no no no... i really dun like this feeling...

but the BB says hor, let everything that has breath praise the Lord! So i still alive though not kicking now, i will still PRAISE THE LORD~~~ Heehee... muz keep me in prayer okie~